McDonald’s goes vegan to open restaurant in Wageningen

Fake News That Could Have Been True:

Last year, McDonald’s announced their plan to start serving vegan Beyond Meat burgers in Canada, with the future goal to sell vegan burgers on McDonald’s menus all around the world. As it turns out, recent published documents show that the sole purpose of this new product is to finally open a place in Wageningen.

The year is 2020, the world is entirely occupied by a fast-food chain. Well not entirely! One small village of indomitable hippies still holds out against the invaders.

For years McDonald’s has tried to get a foothold in Wageningen, but without success. In 2017 they almost secured a location just off the campus, next to the NIOO-KNAW building. Back then, the municipality cancelled the plans, since campus space is meant for “knowledge intensive companies”.

Our editorial team has laid hands on secret documents shared by a whistle-blower working at the headquarters of McDonald’s in Chicago, Illinois. These documents show that McDonald’s started serving vegan burgers for different reasons than one would expect. Not for environmental reasons or because they finally acknowledge that their food can only be so cheap because of animal suffering, but to conquer Wageningen once and for all.

“I’d rather serve a vegan burger than not have a restaurant in Wageningen”

In a memo directed at the board of directors, Mcdonald’s CEO Chris Kempczinski writes “I’d rather serve a vegan burger than not have a restaurant in Wageningen”. It was also revealed that the two teenage girls who started a petition last year to convince the municipality to allow McDonald’s to come, had close ties to the multinational. Roos and Sveva where paid to promote the fast-food chain, but without succes.

Uptil now, Wageningen is still the only university town in the Netherlands, perhaps even in the world, without a McDonald’s. Chris Kempczinski is considering his next moves. Rumour has it that Louise Fresco will soon join McDonald’s advisory board and that plans exist to build a McDonald’s Foods Innovation Centre on Wageningen Campus.