Next year’s Nobel Prize for Wageningen – this is how we do it

It is the most disappointing time of year for our beloved university. The awarding of the Nobel Prizes. For the 118th year in a row, Wageningen continues its dry spell, as again none of its researchers managed to win a prestigious Nobel prize. Even yesterday’s economic prize was out of WUR’s reach! How about next year? The conclusions are unanymous and clear. Things need to change.

The basic solution is simple: WUR needs more and better candidates. In that sense, making your university reach Nobel prize honor, is similar to becoming a top football club. If you hire the best people, you’ll reach the top ranks! Look what Leiden did back in the days: they hired Einstein! Smart move Leiden!

Also statistics give us a hint in the right direction. The last few decades, prizes have been awarded to people with an average age of 60. In the meantime we see all these young students on campus. Stupid! They never win! Better to hire old people!

Then there is the noble Nobel prize conondrum: if you’re not nominated, you can’t win. Solution: let’s all nominate each other! Remember that the deadline is January 31st! Or… hire people that have already been nominated. This year’s peace prize came a little too early for Greta Thunberg, but next year she’ll be the contestant to beat. Make Greta an honorary professor and just wait for the prizes to go our way. And if all that doesn’t work, it might be sound advice to start a Nobel prize for agriculture. Surely Wageningen will stand a chance there!

After all, Wageningen is the best university of the Netherlands for the 14th time in a row!!! WE fought hunger and disease. WE are the no.1 agricultural university in the national Taiwan ranking! WE should not lose hope! I believe that one day, Wageningen can be an elite university too!

  • Or join the RUW, the new University in town! Every Monday from 9-17 @the new university building in ppauw. Perhaps the new breeding ground for innovative Nobel prizes!